Then, Now, and Later

 ~~~~~

It's raining again after a break for a couple of days. This rain is more like a consistent, heavy-ish drizzle. It is about 50 degrees, not much wind at all. Days ago, I found the site (linked below) for weather updates for all sorts of places. It is really quite unbelievable to witness.

WEATHER

The patio looked so bright when the clouds cleared, the cut flowers loving being out in all of the weather!

My dye bundle is still in the little dye pot at the back there, with a terracotta pot over it.

It's funny how serendipity happens. You know,  that: I bought a yellow car and now all is see is yellow cars! thing. I love when that happens. So anyway, I've been coming across the same words, ideas, ponderings in many places.

~~~~~

More than a week ago, my 'sends the best books' friend said this: "Lazy is its own kind of peace". I've been enjoying that kind of peace the past couple of weeks! 

And I saw this from Jude: "we are so fearful aren’t we? we think about falling instead of growing wings." So true.

letting go...acceptance...some many connected ideas these days...

Can you see it? I've named it Holding Season. 🙂

Rambling on here...

So, in my lethargy, I just keep scrolling around online reading, watching and so on. I've landed in unlikely places that have led to new discoveries.  As an example, I was reading (I think at Grace's?), where I read an interesting comment from someone I do not know well. This led to my going over to her blog...which led to me noticing POSIE GETS COZY in the sidebar.  Well, I remembered that blog from like 9 years ago, in my early days of blog explorations. So, I went back there and read and thought, lots of thoughts. I discovered things to watch. I've really only watched one viewing of the first two. The bottom two I haven't figured out how to access, but it's nice to know I have options (if I should loose my mind in this apartment).
Escape to the Country

Gardener's World

The Biggest Little Farm

Only Foals and Horses

I've gotten ideas about cloth, if I should ever pick a piece up again. She uses puffy inserts like THESE instead of batting. I wish I would have thought of that years ago when I made so many baby quilts. Something lightweight, yet warm has a certain appeal. I also got the recipe for this BEAN SALAD, which sounds particularly good right now. Then there was the idea of THIS COUCH, which also looks pretty good right now, as I'm on this uncomfortable one of ours so much. We rue the day we bought this one in 2019...horrible purchase. Why is furniture so hard to buy?

Anyway, the most interesting find of all was this one...after poking around and seeing older photos of her daughter, I had the thought that she looks just like an ELOISE WILKEN illustration. This lead to an image search, to confirm this to myself. Yep.

But, within this image search (yes, there is a point to this long-winded story), I saw a doll...and Eloise Wilken doll. I zoomed in, followed links and researched only to again land on a confirmation, this Baby Dear doll is indeed what my beloved Honeybunch (my name for her) is! Who knew? Not me! I got my own doll from the closet and discovered that indeed she has the Vogue Doll tag (scroll way down for a variety of photos). I don't recall ever really paying attention to that tag...for 63 years! My Baby Dear looks even worse than this last one linked!

Meet Honeybunch!

She is missing a finger, don't recall why. One of our babysitters performed surgery on her belly, so she has a wide white cloth scar. Most of her hair is gone, as I used to gather it up in my little girl hand, so I could hold it to make her 'walk'.  She also still has the evidence of my attempts to powder my baby in her eyes and other creases. After all, that's how I saw her, as my very real to me baby. I didn't so much as play with her as I did caretaking of her. She was so real to me. She was the doll I took when I had to go to the babysitter's house because my mom had to work and I was sick (again). I took her along with her small red box, long string attached, with the pillow and flannel bit of cloth. I drug Honeybunch all over that elder's house on those days. I slept with her and loved her dearly.

Some of you may remember when I passed on my Thumbelina and Piglet in 2013 or more recently, when I passed on my childhood Raggedy Ann. Of course there are also many of my beloveds living in The Dwelling over at Saskia's. These transitions have all felt so good to me. However, I'm not sure if I am ready to Gift Honeybunch yet.

I look to the trees and ask, Where do you live Mr. Owl?

~~~~~~

LINK

We again say goodby to a musical giant. RIP Jeff Beck RIP.

MORE BECK ... this time with BB King, Buddy Guy, Albert Collins and Clapton. 

When I went to look for a video to share, I discovered a new to me thing:

YOU TUBE SHORTS

 I have never actually watched these before. No smart phone, usually not much time, just never did. But, now I understand what my co-workers must be doing as they scroll away in the lounge on their breaks! These things are short, silly, skilled, fun, up-lifting...whatever. I may have. a new obsession during this mindless healing period. 

😉

Also today (Sunday), I listened to tons of music (besides Beck)...starting with Bob Dylan and going on from there. Nothing like it. Nothing like the way it fills me. All of this listening led to some nice conversation with J. Oh, how I love that. Or when he picks up his guitar to play along. Nothing better. Period. Thanks for the inspiration for today's musical adventure Grace!

~~~~~~

More rain today and in the coming two days. I looked up to see how this tree held the raindrops motionless on the edges of the leaves. Isn't that amazing? The smallest thing ca hold so much beauty!

May you notice the magic

May you hold it in your heart

May you share it with others

xo

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2023 

Goodnight Bob

 

STORY HERE

Or HERE TOO

Life

Today was my aunt's funeral.

Although her passing was quicker than expected, I think she was at peace in the end.

The service was simple and heartfelt.

I know it would have felt just right to her, for it was filled with her faith 

and attended by her love ones.

What more can you ask for?

I saw family that I'd not seen for Many Years.

Some not seen for 30 years.  

Some last seen as children, now grown into lovely adults.

There was a lot of catching up to do.

The stories were rich...loving, funny, touching, sad.

Life.

The abundance of the day was amazing.

I'm so grateful to have had this time with these family members today.

Full life.

Textured life.

Layered life.

These are the moments we hang on to.

The moments we remember.

I believe life is about balance.

I've been missing this richness lately.

Some days are harder than others when it comes to balancing.

Sometimes ya just hang on by the tips of your balancing toes!

And holler real loud while doing so!  Ha!

I hope you are enjoying the fullness & balance of your daily life, 

through all of the bitters and sweets.

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2013

Two Holes

Today feels like this:

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2013

There are two holes in my heart.

Two of my elder ladies passed on.

One Friday night.

One this evening.

I've known them both since I was a young adult.

I've known them both forever.

I want to say the words that would speak of the heaviness in my heart 

and the many memories I hold close.

But, eloquence won't come.

There's too much.

So, instead, I give you this:

 

“Perfection Wasted” by John Updike

And another regrettable thing about death

is the ceasing of your own brand of magic,

which took a whole life to develop and market –

the quips, the witticisms, the slant

adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest

to the lip of the stage, their soft faces blanched

in the footlight glow, their laughter close to tears,

their tears confused with their diamond earrings,

their warm pooled breath in and out with your heartbeat,

their response and your performance twinned.

The jokes over the phone.  The memories packed

in the rapid-access file.  The whole act.

Who will do it again?  That’s it; no one;

imitators and descendants aren’t the same.

In a Fog

The days have been a blur...sleep, eat, work, eat, shower...

and trying to keep contact in the online community.

I'm afraid I've not done a very good job of that.

So, for that I apologize.

And for the fact that all my recent posts feel like they must be boring readers like crazy.

Seems Like I am in that cycle of overwhelm right now.

Maybe these recent post are more for me keeping track of days.

There have been passings and illness and general strife between others in my world.

It's taxing, to put it mildly.

I have nothing enlightening or profound to say about any of this.

It just is and I'll just roll with it until it is no longer this, but instead something else.

Today I visited with an elderly aunt.

She is quite ill.

Really she has begun her journey of ending.

We both held inside our words that would capture the very big and very deep feelings that we may not see each other again.

But, we held hands and when it was time for me to leave, we hugged good.

And we knew why.

We talked about family and current daily happenings and those who have already passed on.

We talked about one left behind and her deep sense of loss.

I shared photos of loved ones she hadn't seen in many years and places she'd never visited.

Places she would never see and loved ones she may not see again.

I sat and waited quietly while she left her lunch in the bathroom.

She did not want to speak of her own illness and lack of treatment options.

No specifics were mentioned.

They didn't need to be.

I'm left holding so many of those feelings in a heavy heart.

I've not yet had this experience of knowing I may not see a loved one again, as I have to return to the obligations of my day to day life.

So, to think of her, alone in her apartment, not feeling well, 

as I commute and work and eat and compute and sleep and stitch and write and 

talk or visit with other friends & family members...

well, it's weird.

Here is an old photo, from March 1981.

(I feel awkward sharing today's picture)

The baby is my, now grown, son.

I'm the child-looking mom with my in-laws, grandmother and this special aunt.

She said, "I remember that skirt.  I loved it and wore it for years".

So, isn't that really the truth of what it comes down to?

Some memories, some love...and some time spent together.

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©1981/2013

Ivory for Avery

 

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2012

Today I wore ivory for Avery.  Have you met Avery yet?  I first heard her story 

on the evening news.  When I went to learn more, I was deeply touched.  More important, I learned something.  Here is Avery's blog.

I'll tell you a bit about her and then you can explore more for yourself.  She has a Face Book page and twitter account, so look for them on her blog.

Avery was born on November 11, 2011.

At four months old she was diagnosed with SMA, which stands for Spinal muscular atrophy.  It is a genetic disorder, which when diagnosed as a young infant (like Avery), the lifespan is usually not more than 2 years.

Avery passed away April 30th.

She was almost six months old.

Upon getting the diagnosis, Avery's parents (Michael & Laura) decided to spend their time with her Living and enjoying her and raising awareness for SMA.  Here is her explanation. (BTW- I really do suggest you go back and read her blog from the beginning).

That is just what they have done, enjoy each other and raise awareness.

When they started the blog, they decided to start a 'bucket list' so little Avery could enjoy as many life experiences as possible.  This is what caught the attention of hearts around the world!  Her father, Michael, has written the blog in Avery's 'voice', which is a very endearing voice indeed!  Boy, has it worked!  Along with news programs, blogs and Face Book pages have lit up around the country.  Today along with wearing Ivory for Avery, a blogger celebrated her 6 month birthday with a call for cakes :)

I'm sure there are many other events, posts and celebrations going on as well.  

I think this little gal and her family touched me so much for a couple of reasons.  There's the usual, I'm a mother...any illness in anyone, but especially a child...and then the idea of loosing a child, which spark feelings of empathy and compassion in everyone.  Besides that, I have personal experience with the high risk pregnancy and birth of my daughter.  I had a genetic counselor.  I was the patient of a perinatologist and had 7 amniocentesis tests for gosh sakes!  I even had a screening done for Tay-Sachs while still in college.

At no time had I ever heard of SMA.

I rant, "Why not?"

I have children, grandchildren and nieces, who may someday become parents themselves.

Not only had I never heard of SMA, 

but I did not know that you can request a test for it...there IS a test for it!

But, again, I had never heard of this until Avery, with the help of her Mommy and Daddy!

It is the #1 genetic killer of children under two years old.

There is no treatment and no cure...at this time.  But,  it is the closest to treatment of more than 600 neurological disorders.  Avery's many new SMAans (which stands for SMA and Fans, she says!) have helped to raise money and awareness.  A lot of money and awareness! Amazing.  Amazing what one little gal and her loving family have done in such a short time.

So, today I wore Ivory for Avery and decided to write my own blog post so I can help Avery, her family and all of the other children and families living with SMA.

Spreading the awareness, that's one way I can help!

SMA is a pan-ethnic disease and does not discriminate based on race, ethnicity, or gender.

It could be your family.

Here are a couple of other links for you:

Sophia's Cure

Fight SMA

Gwendolyn Strong Foundation

The 200 For SMA

There are ways to learn more, support, become active, and donate.  

Please investigate this as you wish, but please tell your loved ones so they may get tested and not have to go through this with their own child.

Thank you for reading this post today.

Thank you Avery, Michael and Laura

3 Mysteries - Update

UPDATE TO THIS POST: 3 Mysteries

 Here is the moon and the red spot again.  I cropped the photo to make it a bit bigger.  When I went out to see the moon that night I did not see the red spot until I began to take a photo.  As soon as I partially compressed the button, the spot showed up.  I was able to capture it in the first few pictures only.  After that I could see it when I compressed the button...then click...it was gone.  I thought it was probably a planet or star or ?  The really odd thing (besides the disappearing and reappearing part) was this red spot also moved around.  In the photos it showed up on each side and on  the bottom of the moon, all within moments.  I didn't move and I didn't zoom in (until later in the computer).  

The spot did a little dance around the moon!

Mmmm...wonder what that was all about?!

This is the surprise in the mail.  A big surprise!   A very dear friend braided this rug for me.  

I love it!   If you look very closely, the fabric in the middle, the white one...is what holds my favorite part of the story.  Years ago we went to a quilt show with another friend.  There we saw fabric panels printed with sayings and quotes about friendship.  The idea was hatched to get this panel (or maybe it was 3 of them) and cut it apart, sharing the different sayings & quotes amongst ourselves.  If I remember correctly we each ended up with different quotes.  The plan was to do a round robin type friendship quilt, each of us ending up with some blocks that we did and some that our friends did.  It was a charming idea.

It never happened.  

This should be no surprise to all of my quilting readers!  

The best laid plans...

Anyway, years later my friend and I decided that it pretty much wasn't going to happen...the whole quilt idea.  So I tossed out the idea of her braiding the panels, belonging to her & me, into a rug instead.

You see, my friend makes beautiful braided rugs and I knew how I'd love a piece of her art.  It would remind me of not only our friendship, but our shared time in a preschool classroom where she helped four and five year olds make a braided plant mat (about 15 inches across).

Of course, I no longer remember what the sayings and quotes were, but it's not important.  

What is important is our friendship has lasted so long and only grows deeper over the years.  

I love the words woven in and out, showing and hiding, visible and invisible.  To me it speaks to the complexity and depth our relationship has become.  I like that.  I love my friend!

And now the full moon in the trees...

They are a part of some of my latest cloth work.  It's a little something I call a "Memory Keeper".  This latest one was made for my niece and her fiance (for their wedding).

But, let's go back even further to the conception of this idea.  In 2010, when my ex passed away, I spontaneously got the idea to make each of my kids and my brother/sister-in-law an envelope to keep special pictures or other mementos.  It was very last minute, as I had less than two weeks to make the three of them.  Here are some of the finer points:

• They were made of 3 layers, using 'warm & natural' as the batting.  The first one I tried slipping a piece of cardboard in between the layers to stiffen it up, but I didn't much like that.  For the other two, I stuck with just the batting.
• I've learned to use light colored fabric for the inside, it makes it easier to see inside!
• The outside was pieced by machine, using fabrics that represented either my ex or the things he shared with the  recipient of the Memory Keeper.  It was a meaningful time choosing fabrics and reflecting on my loved ones.
• One side had an old Levi jeans pocket, the other had a clear vinyl pocket where I slipped a photo.
• I added washer and string closures.
• The last step is always to sign my initials and the year made!

It was so healing to work on these...and to give them.

This last time around, I had more time to plan and to work on them.

I decided no on the cardboard inserts, but I kept the warm & natural batting to give some body and strength.  I didn't add the jean pocket for this couple, but I did add a clear vinyl pocket for the wedding invitation.  I like that things can be changed in the pocket.

I still pieced it by machine (just to make sure it got done in time!), but I also added a lot of hand stitching.  Besides wanting to add some of my hand work to the gift, I hoped it would help make it sturdier.  This was a good route to take.

A couple of the special features for the happy couple are:

• I used woodsy themed fabrics to celebrate their Yosemite engagement and Lake Tahoe wedding.  But, I also used the black & white celebratory dancing fabric, because after all this was for their wedding!!!
• I have quite a few 'woodsy' fabrics, so I was able to use a nice variety!
• My guy made the wood buttons for the closures.

This is the other side with their wedding invitation in the clear pocket.  I covered their personal information, but I wanted you to be able to see the tree in the corner & the style in which it was done.

I'm very pleased with these 'Memory Keepers'.  

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2012

Home

The sky starts as a wash of gray-white-blue
Later it becomes a bright blue sky with
fluffs of white clouds
The breeze comes, a stiff cold wind now and again
But, later settles down and
leaves the sun to warm me
The seasons are confused
Winter and Spring blur together
in one day
And a piece of my heart has come home
__________________________________________

This rather boring photo, of a plain plastic pot (rescued from the trash), in all actuality captures
something deeply meaningful for me.
This rose bush was once upon a time
a gift from me to my mother.
I'm remembering it as a Mother's Day gift.
I gave it to my mom so she could have something pretty
to look at, knowing a gift a some tshatshke (trinket, knick-knack) was not necessary.
She requested the gardener plant it where it could be seen, from her living room couch.
For many years she enjoyed her view of the rose bush, calling me excitedly when it bloomed.
"There's a rose on your bush!" she'd say.  She always called it "your bush".
Some days, she'd cut a single rose and bring it in to sit on her coffee table,
enjoying it up close and personal.  "Guess what I'm looking at!" she'd say.
It connected her to the seasons, to nature, in a way she did not usually verbalize.
It was there for years, outside her window, bringing her pure joy in its beauty and in the knowledge of my love for her.
As my sister emptied the last belongings of the home her family shared with our mom,
my boyfriend and I dug up the rose bush.
Now it sits outside my living room window, where I can see it from my couch.
And I feel the same joy upon seeing it, and in the knowledge of our mutual love.
A corner of my heart feels wrapped up in the two-ness of us, as if my mom has come home.  This fills my heart to bursting.  I like having it nearby.  It feels right. 
I shall carry on the tradition of life with this rose bush.
________________________________________________________

                                                                             Note:

I'd like to wish everyone a happy Leap Day!  If you haven't leaped yet today...now is your turn!
If you haven't checked out the Monthly Finds in my sidebar, it's the last chance for these selections.  You've got nothing to loose...take a peek!
Today I like this growth (via Notice Quiet Nature)


Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2012

Things & Thoughts

3 things in one photo...

How can I already almost be near the limit for photos on my blog???  

So, I'm trying to condense photos!

I'm not sure what happens next and I really...I mean really really don't want to have to pay for anything.  That is the whole point of this blogger thing.  Through all their tech issues, I think "But it's free!"  Soon I will have to learn more and figure out what I'm doing here...or just delete old posts.  I don't really want to do that as part of this blogging thing is a great way to archive ideas and activities and such.

Anyway, today I have:

1. The dull women dish I mentioned over at Cindy's.  My mom always had that dish out in one room or another.  She worked on books, papers and catalogs clutter.  I keep it on my dresser, which happens to be clean!  haha

2.  I have an old 'peace' ashtray of my parents.  Since I don't need it for that purpose, I've decided to insert a small pincushion in the center.  Any ideas on what to stuff it with?  I may have some old batting I could use.  I usually just use the arm of the couch for pins and needles!  I'm also open for other suggestions for use!

3.  In the studio today picked up an ancient piece of water-colored paper and saw things in it...animal creatures...beasts, a dog.  I was glad to see the dog, as a friend lost and then found her elderly, disabled dog in the last 24 hours.  He's a Golden, name of Mark.  I'm glad he's safe at home now.  In junior high we used to do this with water colors all the time.  My buddy Shawn was very talented at this process and one of his painting/drawings hangs on my studio wall!

There used to be trees along here!

My apricot tree as tons of buds and some flowers too!  Poor trees, so confused by our weather!  This little tree has been radically pruned in the past, but it still soldiers on!  The miniature yellow rose tree that shared the property line was not so lucky.  Today with 4 cedar stumps, the little rose tree was taken from the ground.  I actually shed a few tears.  Enough already.  :(

Anyway, the apricot tree has a spider web hammock strung between two branches.  It's filled with wood chips from the now gone walnut tree.  It has been a long few days around here.

 But look at this beautiful flower...it sings of hope for a more peaceful garden in days ahead.

Any change, even a change for the better,

is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.
- Arnold Bennett (Enoch Arnold Bennett)

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2012

Etta James - At Last - You'll be missed

     

Words need not be written...
Rest well...rest well...