The Next Post

This is the post you may want to skip.  It is grumpy.  But, I feel like if I don't get it out I will not be able to move forward.  So there you have it.

I saw this way back in December 2015 while on a work walk.  I was chatting with the work neighbor, looked down and saw it.  We grimaced about the name on it, saying he was everywhere.  Little did we know.  I wanted to hit this one outa the ballpark...now I'd like to hit it right off the planet.  I saved the pic thinking I would get to a post just right for it.  After the pic hanging around month after month, I imagined it would be a celebratory post.  Then I began to wonder mote and more and more.  I was continually wary, but had hope.
Then America voted.  Then everything that happened since the election contributed to a sense of hopelessness.  Not trying to be dramatic, just honest.
I have been looking for the light since November.  It is hard to find in the dark and gray.

I think the the election was just the icing on the cake of a very bad year in my world.

The Oak is gone!

Driving to my Aunt's house for Thanksgiving, the Thanksgiving where my brother-in-law will no longer be and my sister and nieces won't be either, this year anyway...I did a double take when I noticed the "The Tree in the Middle of the Road" (an Oak) was GONE!!!  My eyes welled up as I explained to J. that it had been there my Whole Life.  it was the symbol to say we were almost there.  It was the cause of amazement to a young child that we were actually driving Around the tree...it took precedence to a  mere road...to us humans!  Even as a child that spoke to me.  Now you go around nothing, dirt and weeds in a cement grave.
I think J. thought I was loosing my mind..."You're crying about the tree?"  "But it has been there my Whole Life!!!" I tried to defend.  After arriving at my aunt's, I was validated when my cousin said, "The tree is gone!!!"  She got it.

New style bag

Even the procedures and pharmacy bags had changed!  What do you mean No Wristband upon check-in??  What happened to the pharmacy bag with the logo??  But, but, but...it was the other way My Whole Life (or as far back as I can remember)!!

There was too much loss.
Too much change, pain, disequilibrium, worry...
Too much.
So, I tried to look for the positive...I looked at the births that happened and all babies & mothers doing well and the weddings/engagements celebrated - the places we visited and the family members who are doing well.  I continue  this positive seeking and healing.  I look forward to an upcoming wedding and more births.  Like Time, I march on.

Time

And I look for a bit of luck too in a never before seen two pack of fortune cookies!

A little luck for 2017

May your year be good and fine and better & better.  May we survive the hard times and rise up in ways we never knew we could.  May we do the very best thing of just being together.  May we thrive within it all.
~xoNancy

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2017

September Color and Life

September color looks pretty much like August color around here.

Sky bright and hot.

But, now the sunflowers are showing their age.

Some hang so heavy that I have to hold the camera underneath and point towards the sky!

I've felt just this same way, so I can relate to the gals exhaustion!

I'm sick as I was in February.  Not quite as bad this time.  But still.

He's been sick too.

It's been a long couple of weeks.

I feel like I am mindless on the computer.

Trying to sell stuff.

Reading and admiring the works of others.

But not being to productive myself.

I guess there is a season for everything.

Turn Turn Turn

Our sunflower garden has gone nuts.

The sunflowers are becoming spent, while the volunteer elm trees take over.

The weird thing is that these elm suckers are covered and I mean Covered in flies!!

So, when I trek out in the heat, I'm greeted by a very loud buzzing.

It's very odd.

Spent sunflower with thriving elm tree sprouts

The gals are on their last leg!

Looking up while she hangs her head

She no longer stands up straight!

I love how the petals just hang there, totally spent!

shriveled

Then I spy something I've never noticed...

A tiny red dot...what is that?

A bit of red color as Jude was talking about?

Let me look closer...

Ah, golden and red-golden sap!

I didn't even know that this happened to sunflowers.

Isn't that beautiful?!

He hasn't been able to get out there and keep the trees wacked back, so they are taking over everywhere that gets some water.  

I used a rake just to hold them back so I could fine and move the tomato and pepper pots!!

Almost ready

Needing more time

Other things around here share the garden's traits of 

feeling heavy and feeling bright and beautiful.

I came home a few weeks ago with a large box of papers, journals, bibles, documents and photographs that belonged to my aunt.  The box is stuffed with the history of my ex's family.  My general plan is to sort through it, saving some aside for my children and sending the rest (most of it really) off to my brother-in-law.

It's interesting, memory filled and I am grateful to have a chance to explore it all.

I just don't know how and when I will be up to it.

It's a heavy task, as it was to go through my own mother's things.

Now, the personal artifacts of this aunt and her mother (she didn't dispose of any of Grandma's belongings when she passed away years ago!)

I look at this box and think...a lifetime of living in one cardboard box.

Is that what a lifetime comes down to?

 I took two owls from her extensive collection, one for each of my children.  I took a basket for me, because it is pretty and useful.

This aunt of mine collected owls way before they were trendy, way back when I met her in 1976!  I still don't know why she liked them so much.

Time goes by.

It inspires me to continue with my own purging, so my own children will not have such a large task when the time comes.

So I pulled out this footstool today.  I'm ready to let it go.

top view

side view

 But first I will tell a bit of it's story.  I'm collecting the stories before the items go.

~ I have this little footstool. The needlepoint was done by my godmother's mother and given to me as a wedding present in 1979. She in fact had it made into this stool.  It's tiny really, measuring only 8 inches high and 12 inches across.   My best memory with this is rocking my infant son in his darkened bedroom, whilst in an antique press-back rocking chair with a green needlepoint seat, similar floral design. I rocked and rocked him and sang him a lullaby I'd made up. As I rocked, I rested my back on the white & red heart scalloped & crocheted edge baby quilt (some of you may remember seeing it in the Forum), which I kept folded up there. These are good memories of a special time so long ago. I was a young, twenty-one year old mama, just staring out in my much sought after life as a wife and mother.  He'll be 33 next week. A grown man.  I don't really need this little footstool anymore.

hearts side

The quilt as it looks after a wash with oxi clean!

I can barely find the yellow age spots, it looks so sharp!
Thanks for the tip Cathie!

white side

That's it for now.  I'll see ya'll further on down the trail...

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2013

A Day

Friday sunset

This isn't really what this post is about.

But, then maybe it is in some respects.

I've had the desire to just go away.

Somewhere.

Probably by car though.

Escape

Today was a day of remembering, celebrating and visiting with family.

Today was another funeral.

Maybe another funeral is part of the desire to escape.

My sister and I arrived early enough to visit the grave sites of our parents.

As we drove to them we noticed an unusual sight.

A coyote lounging in the sun among the grave markers.

Is that really...??? 

Yep, it is.

We have never seen this before during any of our many visits to the cemetery.

Then...wait...we spy another one.

Then a third.

When we speak to the groundskeeper, we learn that recent building nearby have displaced these creatures.  We learn that there are about 3 or 4 living among the deceased.

They seemed not to care at all about the many visitors moving among them.

But, we did see a warning sign later!

The service was beautiful.

Grandchildren reading the words of others.

Children sharing their own written words.

All were remembering and celebrating a life very well lived.

The following chant (not attributed to anyone) really touched me.

It was read by one of the grandchildren, who started with the first phrase. The group read along in an every other fashion.

There is something very powerful and connecting about choral reading.

We Need One Another

We need one another when we mourn

And would be comforted

We need one another when we are in trouble

And crave help

Or when we are in the deep waters of temptation

And a strong hand might pull us out

We need one another when we would accomplish

Some great purpose and cannot do this alone

We need one another in our defeats

When with encouragement we might strive again

And in the hours of success, when we look for 

Someone to share our bliss

And we need one another when we come to die

And would have gentle hands prepare us for the journey

All our lives we are in need

And others are in need of us

All our lives we are in need, and are in need of us

We best live when we bring to others

Our understanding and solace

Today was also the day to share these two treasures with my cousin.

They once belonged to my favorite aunt, his mother.

I've had them since she passed away.

I was seven at the time.

Tonight I took the time to write him an email that held the story of their meaning to me.

He doesn't have many of her personal belongings.

We talked about that once.

So, today it was time to share.

I love the marking on the top.

After treating myself to a little Chinese food tonight, 

I read these two fortunes that summed up the day.

Lend a hand to one less fortunate than yourself.

You are eager to share yourself and your possessions.

As always, I am grateful for your friendship on the journey.

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2013

Life

Today was my aunt's funeral.

Although her passing was quicker than expected, I think she was at peace in the end.

The service was simple and heartfelt.

I know it would have felt just right to her, for it was filled with her faith 

and attended by her love ones.

What more can you ask for?

I saw family that I'd not seen for Many Years.

Some not seen for 30 years.  

Some last seen as children, now grown into lovely adults.

There was a lot of catching up to do.

The stories were rich...loving, funny, touching, sad.

Life.

The abundance of the day was amazing.

I'm so grateful to have had this time with these family members today.

Full life.

Textured life.

Layered life.

These are the moments we hang on to.

The moments we remember.

I believe life is about balance.

I've been missing this richness lately.

Some days are harder than others when it comes to balancing.

Sometimes ya just hang on by the tips of your balancing toes!

And holler real loud while doing so!  Ha!

I hope you are enjoying the fullness & balance of your daily life, 

through all of the bitters and sweets.

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2013