I lay completely still in the blackened bedroom,window open to the night air.
I couldn't not listen if I wanted to, which I don't.
I'm mesmerized.
In my shut eyes, I don't see these trees in the wind outside my walls,
but, I instead see "my trees" from the duplex, where I last lived.
My trees, five on a property line
rugged in their age and wildness
home to Hawks and my heart
Not these trees, also old and tall,
but hugging the sides of a city buildings
Then I hear the clanging metal clunk
of something blown over
I'm distracted away from trees in the wind
as I try to sort out what it could have been.
The machine begins upstairs once again
as I try to 'mind over matter' back to a place of relaxation,
and hopefully, sleep!
I consider the multitudes of tiny house videos I've watched on YouTube
I put myself in my own mental tiny house loft,
where the trees in the wind
are visible from my skylight
I always wanted a skylight over my bed
At last, I give in and come here,
to write and record
until sleep will come.
Below is an interesting listen on storytelling, which made me want to have a story to tell, instead of the midnight ramblings of a sick and sleepless old woman during a pandemic
Also, the language link, where we can imagine what our own languages may become while home self-distancing
May may you be well, entertained and able to love the trees and wind
xo
So far, I've done a lot of weaving, Cleaned up bookshelves,
Cleaned out some paperwork and got some others a tiny bit more in order.
I worked from home, as mentioned somewhere in the past.
I considered cloth.
I cursed the man and his machines above my head, if only quietly or silently-in my head
Through much of the last few weeks, while doing all of this,
I've also had many days of migraines, many.
So, about 3/4 through the day on Friday, when I'd had a low fever all day,
it occurred to me that it may be a migraine fever, as I get those.
Long story short, I didn't really think it was.
After four days of sleep and fever, I called my health care providers for advice.
The dreaded call, ended up not telling me anything more than I already knew.
Monitor, wait and see.
Take care and practice social distancing
Everything we have been doing.
If the fever goes way up, like 104 or I can't breathe, I should call back
You bet I will!
So, here I've been, distanced
in the bedroom, alone, where there is no TV to lull away the hours.
This Leeds to he more interesting part of this post.
In some email, I'd gotten the link to
This American Life podcast "S-Town"
I popped it over to a tab on Safari, where it sat for days on end.
Until the fever
Until I had already read Island of the Blue Dolphins
Until I had began Ruth Moore's Speak to the Winds
(Which is also set on an island)
Then I listened, binged listened all in one day, because why not?
So wow. I had entered another world. Because I only had the link, with the chapters, and no background information at all (who knew this was a thing?).
There is much more to this story, which was eloquent in my head, but less so now, here, where I type on an iPad
What a story
What a world
Anyway, maybe someday...
Instead, I give you this, which along with some strong language,
Has some good laughs, which I bet we can all use!
Enjoy and do take care, each one of you are so important to me.
I awoke with this song in my head the other day Or is it, I thought of it while trying to sleep?
I think that is how this post, this time will feel Full of contradictions Highs and Lows
Even for me, an introvert who loves being home... yet the lack of freedom in leaving home weighs heavy
Even for me, a lover of sleeping in (even if I wish that not to be so) Days and Nights ~ confused
Blessings of home to be in Curses of Mr Upstairs who keeps me awake all night Unkind thoughts I should keep to myself
Another baby entered the world this week
Another one expected soon
This old baby quilt, circa 1900's,
I was told once upon a time
Purchased in Bishop, CA 1980 for $15.00
used for both of my babies
a lifetime ago
a lifetime ago
Excited by the idea of large cloth with Jude and everyone,
I pulled this out, laying it out on our full-sized bed,
(to give an idea of the size of it),
hoping the fold wrinkles will ease a bit
Much of the color gone
spots worn almost clean through
My thoughts of 'mending' quickly overtaken by
insecurities of low creativity and lower technique
How to make this useful,
while trying to ignore the fear of ruining it?
My imagination trickles in,
a few sparse ideas...
with no idea on how to actually execute them
Because that is the crux of imposter syndrome
Fears of good enough
Just look at that beautiful stitching in perfect little squares!
I could never match it
What to do?
How to move through the layers?
Move through the feelings?
One of my thoughts, perhaps a beginning,
is to add a new binding on top of the existing one
There are many spots where the edge is worn through
I have an old favorite super soft flannel skirt that may make a nice border, although the lined print somewhat concerns me I would not attempt to line things up perfectly
In my head I see Liz's precise stitches,
Jude's beasts wandering over the squares
A stack of Saskia's dog and birds in one corner
And a house from Dee somewhere too
I see a heart from Deb in WA
and some wild stitching from Deb, using her gorgeous threads
Along with all of that,
I see water, a small boat, stars and a dream from Hazel
I see nature dyed glory from Marti side-by-side
with face and human form stitched by Grace
And of course a moon from Mo
And a second one from Glennis
I see a story!
How I would love to send this off in the mail...
round robin style,
so many hands could make much love!
I know that often the best way out, is through... that I should just begin It is just hard these days
Super soft flannel of my old skirt
Me at 19 years This skirt, equally soft pull-over shirt and Frye boots! Ha
Shhh...he's sleeping!
May you things to do Memories to hold And friendships that sustain you xo
