Saturday, September 29, 2018

A Rose by Any Other

Like many others have voiced
This week was emotionally hard
News piles on life

By Friday I had posted on FB something about 
the "bullies always win" and being sick of it.

Today after grocery shopping and treating ourselves to a meal at our
favorite Mexican restaurant and picking up my 2019 Hallmark calendar,
we watched the Japan channel again ~ today a beautiful show about bamboo forests and 
a master bamboo flute maker/player. 
I sat down to work on this while watching the 
which so far (since I tuned in to it) has been mostly the Janet Jackson portion.

The scissors came out
to bravely undo, something long overdue.
A project began with hope, promise and passion
and met with indifference by only some.
Yet, that left its mark.

I began the undoing with the idea of re-purpose.
Machine sew above the name patches, then cut the names off,
thus saving the whole middle...
which could be reused by me, or even by the guy.
The machine needle wouldn't stay threaded.
The bobbin ran out.
I put it aside for days.

But then, continuing tonight, I could not seem to move forward with that plan.
 I just couldn't do it.
We always speak of energy and spirit and 
our good thoughts being held in the cloths we work on.
This time around what was held, was not something I want to continue to keep.
So, once the center was cut off, it went straight into the trash.

Here it is whole (minus the visual of the actual names for confidentiality).
It would have spiraled  in, until there was no space left to spiral.

As it stands there are now 28 names in a pile.
Adults, many moved on now...
Children, grown and gone...
One name still in process...
and my own.

What's in a name?

I have yet to come to a full decision on what I will do with the names.
One in particular will go off to the adult who brought this project to mind again 
(it has been buried in my studio). 

Each name had been written on muslin in the person's own writing 
or that of his or her parent.
I then stitched over it, firmly attaching it to the blanket. 
Each writing sample completely different, 
the adult or child choosing the color floss.

"The Weekend" comes on the television. I listen and watch.
I've never heard of them, but what I am really noticing now is the crowd.
Such diversity represented...all together bouncing to the music...
smiling and singing along, cellphones recording, hands making heart shapes.

So many people in one place, sharing space, getting along.

These are the skills we focus on and build everyday with the little ones at work.
I let the parents know the early years are the time to build social and emotional skills.

How has all of this been so lost along the way?
How can we hang on to that sliver of hope we see in the faces of a crowd?
How can we stop the bullies from winning?

Perhaps when things look to be unraveling,
we need only to look towards one another,
to those in our tribe ~ who are strong and love us.

Perhaps when all seems to be unraveling,
we need only look inside to remember who we are and what we stand for...
and may we remember to stand with others who feel the same.

Photos by NAE ©2018

May we embrace the strength we need to 
hold on or let go,
but to always remain true to our authentic self.

May peace and kindness grow within you and bubble out in all you do.

PS Next weekend is Pow Wow!  I can't wait to feel those drums! 

Grace commented that she did not understand about this blanket.
Which, is understandable since I wrote it so vague, it being work related and all.
Anyway, after some searching, I found an old post about it.
You can read that here:
9 Patch for Health
It is curious to me that almost 6 years later,
the "enthusiasm" that began this project,
is a long-lost memory.
It was replaced with ideas of gathering together in this way 
as being too 'teacher directed'...
and warnings that it would be washed with 'bleach' (as is everything)...
and times of me being the only one to use it with the children.
None of this was the gathering of community I had envisioned.
Time marches on.

Thank you to all who left me such lovely comments on this original post 
and those who comment here in the current time.

You all mean so very much to me. xo

Sunday, September 23, 2018


moves on
cannot be held
is meaningful in the moment and in remembrance
is all we have, yet~ how much we never know
valuable, appreciated, important

Head on over to read this old post first.
Okay, you're back?
Here we go...

One week ago today,
my sister and I again went to the cemetery 
for the Kever Avot service. 
Only the second time.
How had so much time gone by between visits?
Yet, the prayers and prose remain the same.
We again participated in the call and response of We Remember Them, among others.
The sound of the Shofar
echos through our history.
The cantor's voice still rings true.
The rabbi shared her story of life. love, passing and time.
A deeply touching story that tells us that time never remains the same.

However, this time it was just the two of us, 
as our elder family friend, now 7 years older,
doesn't travel as well.
This time, while We Remember Them toucheed me, especially the line:
"When we have decisions that are difficult to make,
We remember them"
Other messages seem to come through again and again,
especially the message held within  
"Affirming Our Love", by Rabbi Harold M. Schulweis
"When we lose one who is dear, we mourn but we must not mourn excessively.  We must be grateful for what we have had and find comfort in our memories".

This lack of excess, not dwelling in the loss and sadness 
seemed to catch my ear again and again this time around.

This time around, when so many more have passed on...
when others are in need of healing.
For this time, I thought of those that have passed since (Jewish or not).
I thought of those in need of healing (Jewish or not).
While I still had many thoughts of my mom, 
who will have her Yahrzeit on October 3rd,
my view had expanded to include all of those others and their loved ones.

I reflected on where I come from, where I've been and how that has shaped me.
I considered where we may be headed, 
this time around.

May you find meaningful and fulfilling 
ways to spend your time.

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2018