Sunday, May 22, 2016


It has been a long while since I've posted here.
I've thought of many posts, even started a few drafts.

But, computer issues and the events so far in 2016 have made it a challenge. 
I don't even know if this post will work or if my words will make sense.
But, I'll try.

It has been a bit over one month since my brother-in-law passed away.
At the three week mark I started to really notice that we'd moved through the first weeks.
Three weeks.

When we first got the call just before 3:30 am on that fateful Thursday morning, we raced into the Valley, to the hospital, to find he'd passed.  We focused on the minutes.
The minute my sister was called.  The minute she'd called us.  
The minute he passed.
We zeroed in on that moment of time, not believing this could be happening.  
Wishing we could turn back the clock.
As the family and close friends gathered in the ICU area, those minutes painfully stretched into hours.  Three hours later, his surgeon arrived to learn the awful news for himself.  He too questioned and shed a tear.
All through the morning, the hours painfully stretched on.

The day came to a close and the next one moved along in slow motion.
Then it had been a day.  
24 hours had passed and he'd been gone for a day.
Then two and three.
We spent time together, mourning and doing what needed to be done.
On the third day, we joined together to celebrate his life, 
to remember and to miss him some more.
Soon, the days both drug by and disappeared 
amidst the tasks needing to be completed 
and the quiet moments of loss, It had been one week.
Then two and then three.

Time kept marching on, seemingly unaware of the fact that our breath had been held in grief, only to burst forth in tears.  Time marched on oblivious to the deep hole in our world.

Now with one month passed, I share these thoughts.
The thoughts that occurred to me as we counted the weeks.

5 days after he passed, a little girl entered the world.
A little girl was born and her arrival was noted to the minute.
She was immediately welcomed and loved by many. 
Her early minutes turned into hours and her age was soon counted by the day.
Then she became weeks old and soon enough a one month birthday.

Her life, wrapped in the love of family began, 
as his life wrapped in the love of his family had come to an end.

We travel our days connected to one another by our joys and our grief...
by our shared experiences and our love of one another.

We count the passing of that time, of our lives, in minutes, days,
weeks and months...and in years.

But we live in the moment.
May your moments be filled with contentment, lightened of pain,  
surrounded by love and bound by connection.

In friendship,

If you would like to read more, here are the related posts of my sister and of my niece

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2016