Books-n-Birds and a Poem and a Dance

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I added an update to THIS POST

The beautiful blue sky and songbirds as we head out for some blood work. So wonderfully uplifting.

The video below and the poem are from the Katherine Center newsletter I get. She always includes such great stuff, maybe one day I'll actually read one of her books! I'm so bad about that.

[POEM] A Suit or a Suitcase by Maggie Smith

You ask what I’ll miss about this life. Everything but cruelty, I think.

But you want one specific thing, so here—I’ll miss my body. I’ll miss

its companionship, how it’s traveled with me, never leaving me—& by me,

I mean my mind. My soul? My self? I don’t know what to call it, and besides,

my body hasn’t traveled with me. I’ve traveled inside it. Do I wear it

or does it carry me? Is the body a suit or a suitcase? Bear with me here.

I’ve always thought of who I am as being concentrated in my head & chest,

as if there’s a waterline at my ribcage & contrary to their density, thoughts

& feelings stay afloat. You asked what I’ll miss about this life, and now

I’m way down a rabbit hole, wondering if I could breathe deeply enough

to redistribute my mind more evenly throughout my body—or soul rather

than mind? Or self? I don’t even know what to call the me of me. I imagine

filling my body completely, filling it, every inch, to the skin. Shh. Listen.

Ideas are whispering in my wrists and all along the slopes of my calves.

When you lay your head on my thigh, when you kiss the backs of my knees, listen.

I’m trying to tell you what I’ll miss— everything but cruelty, but mostly this.

~~~~~ ~~~~~

You can find the link for this poem, which was in the email newsletter HERE, and the link for the one I placed here on the blog HERE #31  and more of her poems HERE under a search for poems by Maggie Smith. Just reading poetry or going to the Poetry Foundation always reminds me of Michelle in NYC. I still think of her so often. Her mark, left behind. Her many marks left on my heart.

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LINK

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I'm still going through and packing up some of the children's books. I'm reading everyone before packing it up or putting it back to be considered at another time. This has been a long and winding trip down memory lane, for sure.

Some of the books in this round:

When Light Turns Into Night

The Summer Night

The Comet and You

LINK

This is such a wonderful storytelling of "Barn Dance", but it is longer than I normally place here (26.29 minutes). That being said, I found it so engaging how the music and story were woven together. Below is a link for a much shorter version.

Link to shorter reading

LINK

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I read this book (above) to my children. Each page has the little crease made by a thumb and a forefinger making sure only one page is turned. For some that would look like wear and tear, but for me it looks like love.

LINK

The book, "Dawn" has the most beautiful watercolors. I've read other books of Uri Schulevitz's, but this is the only one I have (since college!!).

*NOTE: I've decided that I am a children's book snob. Most videos I search for and listen to, just do not do justice to the books in my heart! As a petty example, I read this one much slower, letting the words land softly, slowly while allowing the eye to hold the illustration, allowing it to sink in deeper. I think back to my storytelling-children's literature (or whatever it was called) class in college. All of these years, I've used ideas and techniques I learned in that course. Too bad there is no way to let the instructor know that.

One of these days, I'll actually dig out the photos of my mom and the many authors and illustrators who graced the bookstore where she worked for so many years. I keep finding autographed copies, which is so cool.

Above: Barn Dance, autographed

Below: The Comet and You, autographed

~~~❤️~~~

Something else I've noticed is how many Charlotte Zolotow books I've had. When searching for links, I notice that there are many more of her books that I had at one time. but no longer do. I know this is influence from my mom that grew into a shared appreciation. I can still hear mama in my head telling what she loved about a particular book or the illustrations. How lucky am I to have those memories.

The two books below were written by Charlotte Zolotow's daughter, Crescent Dragonwagon.

I thought of Emrie on the hill while reading "When Light Turns Into Night"

May you read for love

May you read for connection

May you read for learning and inspiration

xo

Photographs by NAE ©2023

Undone

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I finally opened the bundle. I was only mildly please with it. Not really enough interesting marks or color. I could rewrap it again, but I didn't...I just made a couple of new ones.

The real win for me was standing out in the warm sunshine, talking back to a crow. while fiddling with cloth and rusty bits.

I have a plan for the dyed string.

I like the itty bit of green. 

However these come out, is fine by me.

Just seeing these expiring flowers in the sun fills me!

Beautiful, right?!

Go take a peek at the twitter posting below. That's how I've felt lately...surrounded by friends. What could feel better than that?!

Friends to the Rescue

Clear skies!

A friend read this aloud to me the other day. I loved it. I think you will too!

A Hat for Mrs. Goldman

And I've watched two episodes of the show below and enjoyed that too.

New viewing: Forces of Nature

~~~~~~

❤️    ❤️

May you  stand still with the sun on your neck

May you play in flowers

May you feel the love that surrounds you

xo

Photographs by NAE ©2023

Ripples

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“Remember then that there is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your side. For these, my dear boy, are the answers to what is most important in this world. This is why we are here.”

-Jon J. Muth, The Three Questions

As I've been going through the children's books, which is something I considered long before actually starting this process, I thought about what this transition would mean to me...what these books mean to me. This is far too deep to put into words right now. 

I had conversations...with my dear friend, my sister, my son. I had to consider that I could not control other's responses...could not make anyone love these books the way I have, felt the deep connection with my mama the way I did (do)...I could not have anyone else treasure the years my mom worked at the children's book store, how that two decades felt, how it impacted my life and the lives of my children. I could not make quality teachers of young children out of anyone who came in contact with those particular books (my 'teaching books'), for that was an era of it's own, known only to myself and those who lived it with me.

Something that Dana said has been rolling around in my brain..."it would be too hard".

Well, yes, it is hard, but it feels like the right time. Two months ago, 6 months ago, two years ago, 10 years ago...I would not have even been able to entertain this idea. So, I'm giving myself time and room to process...because this is a process after all. I am placing some of this process here, so I can remember. I'm giving myself permission to hold onto the ones I am not ready to let go of just yet. I'm reading lots of books...before they go.

And I keep coming back to the thought that I want to share them with this little boy, pictured here. I want to spread and sprinkle their goodness around (think Miss Rumphius style). Big Grandson didn't have this opportunity to absorb the books or the family history when he was young. I would like to do better.

So, I look at these photos and think it is time, these are my people. Sharing is a good thing.      I can trust this process, even if it's hard.

*Thanks Dana for giving me so much to think about.

~~~~~

Linda Ronstadt & johnny cash i never will marry johnny cash show 1969

LINK

Here are some more books already pulled out from the tubs. Many of these choices are still a bit advanced for Orlo, so more thoughts and decisions on how to best move forward. Do you know any of these books?

You can see my mama reading "Treasures of the Heart" back in the early 2000's in my preschool class. How lucky was I?!

Many of these are what I categorize as 'teaching books', meaning they were purchased by me or gifted by friends, to use in my classroom. They were not a part of my children's lives, nor the Bookstore era. They are a bit easier to let go of.

 Here is but four of the cloth, quilting, etc. library I began while teaching Pre-K back then. I have more to pull out and consider in this category!

And another one in the peace (I stopped to read this one today 🙂), tolerance, diversity collection (look back to first book photo for some of the others). One could really get to know my passions by the children's books I collected!  There used to be many titles about nature, trees, birds and so on, but I think most of those were passed on to teaching friends years ago.

~~~~~

"Blue Bayou" performed in honor of Linda Ronstadt at the 2014 Induction Ceremony

LINK

If I could just stop thinking about books and listening to music non-stop, I might actually get something done around here! But, there are things in process (besides books, ha!) and some new things brewing too.

I know I've put this one here, at least once, but I woke with the melody playing in my dream...the words sung - faraway and barely recognizable...but that melody. I had to listen, yet again. And I had to share once again too.

Ripple (Grateful Dead) feat. Bill Kreutzmann | Playing For Change | Song Around The World

LINK

May you treasure the old

May you read and sing and make music

May you leave many ripples

xo

Photographs by NAE ©2023

More Music, More Memories and Then Some

 UPDATE: 

My lovely 'chooses the best books' friend sent me this link where you can listen to A.A. Milne read 

Winnie The Pooh

Isn't that fun?!

~~~~~

Sun today...and breezy!

I again ask, "Where do you live Mr. Owl?" as we hear it, them every night right now. Sometimes we think there are two. Sometimes, just one.

LINK

Tomorrow is "Winnie The Pooh Day", according to my co-worker. So, okay. I sent them this photo of my Pooh Bear, sitting alongside my two Pooh books. He's old, very old and getting thin in places. My daddy gave him to me when I was 7 years old and had to have a mole removed from my foot. Gosh that was traumatic! All I recall is that she cut it off with scissors. I looked, saw...and quickly looked away. when I got home, there was Pooh, waiting for me 🙂

And a I'm sure I've said it before, repeated story: Also during this time period, well, right before the stuffed Pooh...my mama read me Winnie The Pooh, chapter by chapter, snuggled up on the couch together. Pure magic! When the book came to an end, I looked up at her and asked wistfully "Read it again mama". Sigh. After that I became known as Nancy Pooh (sometimes with the added "from Timbuktu"). This was the reason my daddy chose a Pooh for me...because I was Pooh. 

Also pulled out during this recent delve into my doll & stuffed animal past are Lamby and Puppy (such original names!! haha). They are from my infant-hood. They too had 'surgery' by our babysitter and could sure use it again.  My mom used to wash them in the machine and hang them on the clothesline at our apartment building...by their ears! I always thought that was quite comical. They are in dire need of restoration.

First of all, all of the dolls & stuffed animals were stored in my old cedar chest, for YEARS and then in a Rubbermaid tub for more YEARS. I don't think either place was the best idea of where to keep them. So they all smell very strongly of cedar and Honeybunch's face etc. has a weird feel from the plastic.

Now what?

I have considered opening a seam in these two to destuff them...wash them and re-stuff them again. But, I don't know, I'm not very good at this kind of thing. I need to channel my inner Liz for sure! I don't know what they were stuffed with, but it feels like sawdust now. Yikes! Lamby is pretty rough, not soft and cozy anymore. But, Puppy is still a good cuddle.

Even IF, big IF, I ever get to doing this, THEN WHAT? What do I DO with them then? They really are so sweet, aren't they?

Another trip down memory lane I took recently (these must be the 'trips' one takes when they can't get out of the house!), was taken when I pulled out the big, heavy quilt. In that plastic tub, along with all of the other extra blankets, was this one. I'm pretty sure I've put this one here too...told this story before too. 

Oh well.

I had bought it for my mom a million years ago, in a clearance bin in Mervyn's...$15.00! She loved it so much and used it on her couch as a lap quilt or on her bed as a little extra warmth. Then she asked for it when she was dying...wanted 'my beautiful quilt from Nancy' on her. She passed away under this lovely little bit of store-bought, machine-sewn, loving gift from me to her. At times she would tell me (while we talked on the phone) that she was 'under your beautiful quilt'. I frankly was surprised by her level of adoration, as it was such a cheap little purchase...it was not like I had made it.

But, knowing my mom, it was that I had thought of her, that I treasured her...and she knew that. My friend said, "knowing it wasn't really the fabric that enveloped her, but your love it represented". Yeah, I think it was that.

She used to do the same thing with the rose bush I gave her...calling to tell me 'guess what's on my table? The first rose from your bush!' or 'I'm looking out my window at your rose bush'. She loved that rose bush so much!

Anyway, when I took out the big, heavy quilt, hers was in there...making all of the cloth in there smell like her! Now, in the past, especially when she died, I loved that. I would wrap myself in her scent, slept under this quilt of hers for weeks and weeks. However, this time, it was a huge asthma trigger for me. That seems to happen more and more. Scents are really bothering me these days. Thankfully the big, heavy quilt has begun to air out a bit. The first night of scent was hard! So anyway, I had to take my mom's from the tub, remove it from its neighbors (for their protection!!) and do my own shrink wrap in a very large zip-loc bag!! Now what? Washing it here will only put some other strong scent in the mix. Yuc! Anyway, any tips would be appreciated.

⧉

Also in big rubbermaid tubs (2) are all of those children's books I mentioned. I've continued to go through the, and pull some out to mail off to Little Grandson. Some classics, some favorites, some not heard of too much, some not of this time in language or viewpoints or values and many now out of print. I've looked for about two seconds at what they may be worth. But, I do not ever plan to sell them, so it matters not. I want them to be read - while sitting closely together and cuddling...I want them to be LOVED...and respected and treasured as I have, as my mama did, as my children did...I want them to BECOME friends, as they've been to me, my mama, my children...I want them to LIVE again.

📚

Some of the books still have my maiden name written inside, as I bought them pre-parenthood, in college when I first started taking Child Development courses and thinking about my 'someday children'. 🙂

So far, in the ones I've gone through, some are autographed by the author and/or illustrator, while others are signed by my mom for certain occasions. Some are particular for my son and some for my daughter...as if they'd been written just for them!

*NOTE: We spelled it 'Auntie' (but, that's okay)

My two year old son named my mama that. It is really such a perfect story. At that time, he'd heard all of his Aunts called Auntie & their name. So, I'm pretty sure if you're two and you are adding Auntie in front of the female's names in your family...and if 'Grandma' IS your name...well, you can see how easily you'd land on Auntie Grandma. She adored her name for the rest of her life!

✍🏼

I also dug into those two tubs of cloth. I was looking for something in particular (which I did not find. Boo). I only pulled out a couple of things, the watercolor creature above. That same watercoloring that I'd used up for so many years...really SO MANY YEARS!! Besides the many hearts it made, I discovered critters within the paint and did some drawings. One even hangs in The Dwelling, over at Saskia's. The one above was glued to a blank card for future use (soon).

I just love how the sun catches the leaves at the tip-top of this tree!

I pulled out the bundle today and am letting it dry in the sun of today.

~~~~~

May you travel through time, or in place

May you travel in the best ways you know how

May you travel with heart

xo

Photographs by NAE ©2023

Then, Now, and Later

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It's raining again after a break for a couple of days. This rain is more like a consistent, heavy-ish drizzle. It is about 50 degrees, not much wind at all. Days ago, I found the site (linked below) for weather updates for all sorts of places. It is really quite unbelievable to witness.

WEATHER

The patio looked so bright when the clouds cleared, the cut flowers loving being out in all of the weather!

My dye bundle is still in the little dye pot at the back there, with a terracotta pot over it.

It's funny how serendipity happens. You know,  that: I bought a yellow car and now all is see is yellow cars! thing. I love when that happens. So anyway, I've been coming across the same words, ideas, ponderings in many places.

~~~~~

More than a week ago, my 'sends the best books' friend said this: "Lazy is its own kind of peace". I've been enjoying that kind of peace the past couple of weeks! 

And I saw this from Jude: "we are so fearful aren’t we? we think about falling instead of growing wings." So true.

letting go...acceptance...some many connected ideas these days...

Can you see it? I've named it Holding Season. 🙂

Rambling on here...

So, in my lethargy, I just keep scrolling around online reading, watching and so on. I've landed in unlikely places that have led to new discoveries.  As an example, I was reading (I think at Grace's?), where I read an interesting comment from someone I do not know well. This led to my going over to her blog...which led to me noticing POSIE GETS COZY in the sidebar.  Well, I remembered that blog from like 9 years ago, in my early days of blog explorations. So, I went back there and read and thought, lots of thoughts. I discovered things to watch. I've really only watched one viewing of the first two. The bottom two I haven't figured out how to access, but it's nice to know I have options (if I should loose my mind in this apartment).
Escape to the Country

Gardener's World

The Biggest Little Farm

Only Foals and Horses

I've gotten ideas about cloth, if I should ever pick a piece up again. She uses puffy inserts like THESE instead of batting. I wish I would have thought of that years ago when I made so many baby quilts. Something lightweight, yet warm has a certain appeal. I also got the recipe for this BEAN SALAD, which sounds particularly good right now. Then there was the idea of THIS COUCH, which also looks pretty good right now, as I'm on this uncomfortable one of ours so much. We rue the day we bought this one in 2019...horrible purchase. Why is furniture so hard to buy?

Anyway, the most interesting find of all was this one...after poking around and seeing older photos of her daughter, I had the thought that she looks just like an ELOISE WILKEN illustration. This lead to an image search, to confirm this to myself. Yep.

But, within this image search (yes, there is a point to this long-winded story), I saw a doll...and Eloise Wilken doll. I zoomed in, followed links and researched only to again land on a confirmation, this Baby Dear doll is indeed what my beloved Honeybunch (my name for her) is! Who knew? Not me! I got my own doll from the closet and discovered that indeed she has the Vogue Doll tag (scroll way down for a variety of photos). I don't recall ever really paying attention to that tag...for 63 years! My Baby Dear looks even worse than this last one linked!

Meet Honeybunch!

She is missing a finger, don't recall why. One of our babysitters performed surgery on her belly, so she has a wide white cloth scar. Most of her hair is gone, as I used to gather it up in my little girl hand, so I could hold it to make her 'walk'.  She also still has the evidence of my attempts to powder my baby in her eyes and other creases. After all, that's how I saw her, as my very real to me baby. I didn't so much as play with her as I did caretaking of her. She was so real to me. She was the doll I took when I had to go to the babysitter's house because my mom had to work and I was sick (again). I took her along with her small red box, long string attached, with the pillow and flannel bit of cloth. I drug Honeybunch all over that elder's house on those days. I slept with her and loved her dearly.

Some of you may remember when I passed on my Thumbelina and Piglet in 2013 or more recently, when I passed on my childhood Raggedy Ann. Of course there are also many of my beloveds living in The Dwelling over at Saskia's. These transitions have all felt so good to me. However, I'm not sure if I am ready to Gift Honeybunch yet.

I look to the trees and ask, Where do you live Mr. Owl?

~~~~~~

LINK

We again say goodby to a musical giant. RIP Jeff Beck RIP.

MORE BECK ... this time with BB King, Buddy Guy, Albert Collins and Clapton. 

When I went to look for a video to share, I discovered a new to me thing:

YOU TUBE SHORTS

 I have never actually watched these before. No smart phone, usually not much time, just never did. But, now I understand what my co-workers must be doing as they scroll away in the lounge on their breaks! These things are short, silly, skilled, fun, up-lifting...whatever. I may have. a new obsession during this mindless healing period. 

😉

Also today (Sunday), I listened to tons of music (besides Beck)...starting with Bob Dylan and going on from there. Nothing like it. Nothing like the way it fills me. All of this listening led to some nice conversation with J. Oh, how I love that. Or when he picks up his guitar to play along. Nothing better. Period. Thanks for the inspiration for today's musical adventure Grace!

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More rain today and in the coming two days. I looked up to see how this tree held the raindrops motionless on the edges of the leaves. Isn't that amazing? The smallest thing ca hold so much beauty!

May you notice the magic

May you hold it in your heart

May you share it with others

xo

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2023 

Life at Home

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This is home right now. We're home in the rain and my healing.

When you're supposed to be "walking", but it's pouring and you live in 750 square feet, well...it looks more like pacing and loosing your marbles. It looks like you positioning your feet at the edge of the 8X10 rug...ready to do your Gymnastics Floor Exercise, complete with running and flips and sticking the landing. Okay, so it really looks like pacing, but humor helps.

This is my main view from the main room, well, The room. It has been absolutely pouring and screaming winds. The wind whistles through the ill-fitting windows and 'down the corridor' (the area between our building and the wall or the building next door). The rain plays music on the gas meters. My recent dye bundle is out there in the little dye pot.  I think of it down in there, dyeing.

Weather related NEWS. Gee whiz!!

From the article: "A 132-mph wind gust lashed Oroville, California. Residents in Washoe City, Nevada, were hit with a 98-mph gust, the Weather Prediction Center said."

Gee whiz!! Thinking of you Grace!

This area is on 'flood watch'...but, we're okay so far. I'm not worried about my particular building.

The wind has been whipping the small trees on the other side of the wall. We noticed how much they've already grown. 

LINK

The above book is a childhood favorite and one I have still. I love the artwork, the cleverness of Momo and the way the author uses word patterns to create 'rain' music. I've read this to young children (including my own) for all of my adult years and enjoy creating a 'rain rhythm' as I read. I still think of it every time it rains. I hope your littles enjoy it too! ❤️

*Note: There is another You Tube reading of this book. I like that readers 'rain', but not the accent used for the little girl. But, that is just me.

Home can look like music and bringing out the warmer quilt on a stormy day. 

I've probably put this one here before, but here it is again. We got tired of  playing tug-of-war with the cozy gray blanket, so it was time. This one was made so many years ago. It was quick and has very little stitching...ties hold the layers together. There is a batting of some kind (can't recall now) and the back is gray sweatshirt fabric (I wonder why I had so much of that?). I did the edging in the simple old way of folding over the backing onto the 'front' and stitching it down on the machine. when I made it, my intention was that it could be thrown in the truck to be used on the beach, or under the stars. But, it has really been a house pet instead. It's soft and very heavy. Very. Almost like a weighted blanket.  I really like the fabrics I had and so instead of going small...I went BIG! I cut the yardage in fourths, laid them out in a pleasing mix and made four-patches...then I sewed those together. It was a one day (or so) adventure. We've used it for years! ❤️ I look forward to getting under that weight tonight!

May you stay safe

May you stay dry and cozy

May you float when you need to!

Sending out love tonight

xo

Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2023