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Saturday, July 20, 2019

TOO MUCH: Weary, Faith, Hope, Change and #littleman

NOTE~ Yes, I know this is a lot of photographs.  It is my way of telling this story.
Yes, I know this is a depressing story, but it is mine of late and it is also my blog.
You may go away now if this is not of interest to you.
(I say with understanding and kindness, as I get it)
This is me having to get this off my chest in one way I know how.
I have always said, and will repeat:
I treasure each and every one of my blogland peeps.
You guys are true, salt-of-the-earth people.
You engage, challenge, and lift me in ways you may never fully know.
You accept and love me in ways I deeply appreciate.
So, thank you for all of that.
Carry on.


                                        Mavis Staples ft. Ben Harper - Change                

Hazel's comment on a recent post of mine...
Michelle's use of the word 'weary'...
Saskia's return... 
Liz and Jude...going...
Mo's providing Moon beauty...

~all prompts for me to record some of my own recent feelings, as best I can~
They are not pretty

Daily drive, landfill on the left
Pretty good shape!

3 Turtles keep me company

There is a little two year old at work who has been discovering
too much.
Sometimes it is water or soap.  Sometimes it is a particular kind of toy or sand.
Sometimes it is the noises around him.
"Too Much!" he says.

I agree.
There is too much politics, unrest, unkindness, illness, arguing, 
bitterness, threats of violence and violence itself.

There is too much imbalance of powers, poverty, homelessness,
Too Much cages and babies taken from their families.

Too many lost or broken or both.
Too much negative.
Too much heavy.
Too much change, of not the good kind.


I tried to sleep and this phrase keep popping into my head:
frying pan, frying pan
little man in a frying pan
burn his feet, ain't that neat?
falls to seat, ain't that fun?
little man can't even run

I even drew #littleman


My heart breaks for the #littleman, trying to survive, trying to get by.

There are too many stories...
in the news, from those I know...deep in hearts (mine included).
(I drew that too)


Barely able to see the story patches, I've been wearing lately.
The weight is astounding.



I keep looking for the light.
I'm usually pretty good at finding slivers of light.

Teeny glimmers are all that have appeared.
A couple of work changes, reversed - improved upon...
a cause for guarded relief and begrudged gratefulness.

This song above, heard on my commute, 
a slice of rebellious, stomping foot in place calling out ENOUGH.
Demanding CHANGE! (The good kind of course!)

Nice trees, work car?

Sometimes I consider that I could drive a different, 
less in your face route to work.
But, I would not forget all  #somefolks are still out there, 
with me just on a less upsetting road.
If this was the only 'news', maybe I would consider that.
But, to me it is merely a sign of these times.
There is so, so much more.







These non-mobile mobile homes are filled with men, women, pet dogs
bicycles, ATVs, dirt, dust and grime.
Broken bits of furniture, car parts and trash.
They have folks that sweep the sidewalk or don't, 
work on their vehicles and go off for the day (to work?)
There are tarps.  Lots of tarps that cover the roofs, broken windows 
(there seems to be lots of those too) and spaces between their home 
and a nearby wall or fence (AKA shade tarps).
This is but one short stretch of road where the mobile live.




In my car, my own home away from home, on my lunch break 
I manage to sort bags of buttons.
Dividing my collection by about half.  
Because who needs so many buttons anyway? 

I sort and search.
I seek to find.

I haven't been weaving or stitching the past few weeks.
Or letter writing, although I've got a mental list going for that!

I make life decisions phone calls from my car.
The kind of phone calls no one really likes to make.
Then I make the return trip.







At night, in bed I read little novels. 
Escape books, for enjoyment and to get tired enough and to ward off dreams.

I've read some fair, good or great books. 


I'll read BURN next.  I am part way through A MAN CALLED OVE.
I have finished the others and they are back at the library, 
so someone else may enjoy them.
CALLING MAJOR TOM was a fun one to read with all the celebratory remembering of the Moon Landing going on right now.  He actually is on his way to Mars, but there is lots of Space Oddity tie-ins and such!  BRITT-MARIE WAS HERE and A MAN CALLED OVE are both by the author whose book I read first: MY GRANDMOTHER TOLD ME TO TELL YOU SHE'S SORRY.  He has a very unique way of phrasing and word choice.  One of those authors I find myself thinking in their style. 


I try to stay off the news these days.
I return to continue and/or consider FB and it's vile owners/operators. 
I try to let the unkind comments and some of the stories go.
I would love to walk again, but the air quality and my asthma say "NO WAY!"
I look for new tools in this old toolbox.
(toolbox below!)
TV game shows in the toolbox!

 ↔

And, as you guys know, 
I guess I wouldn't be me if I didn't keep trying to circle back around 
to some kind of light and love.
It'll get easier.
It always does.
It's just taking a while this time.

Work parking lot heart leaf!

May you get through your hard times,
enjoy your better times and
try to always remember love.
xo 
Photographs by NAE ©2019 

Saturday, July 6, 2019

More Shaking

 
-Give me things that don’t get lost…
-Neil Young: Old Man


Yes, we felt the next, bigger quake last night!
One of the first things out of my mouth was,
"The less you have, the less you have to loose!"

This downsizing continues to feel really good.
I am grateful we've not hung anything large and heavy!

The cloths work.

The dancing men...Danced! 

We really think we will leave well enough alone.
The giant expanses of wall keeps it light and airy and much less closed in!
That feels good in a bottom floor, green enclosed space.

 
 
Talents are best nurtured in solitude;

Character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world.
-Goethe
  

 We  have considered what we have already here, in case of an emergency,
what we need, what should be organized better...and so on.

This year seems to be that year!  Oy.

I continue to attempt to sell myself on the idea that all of these changes 
are a good thing,
right?!!

Better prepared, organized, planned...
I can't go wrong!
Ha

Putting your life in order.  Sigh.

⥀     ⥁
 

Remember this time.
                    It’s the way life should be.                            
-Martin Waddell
 
May your days prove to be an inspiration.
May you be prepared,
or at least ready to adapt!
xo

Photographs by NAE ©2019 

Thursday, July 4, 2019

Rockin' My World

Be the Turtle!


The irony, coincidence, and pure lunacy, humor or whatever
of this morning's earthquake is not lost on me.

For in the past months and weeks most areas of my life have had
some sort of rocking going on.

We are fine

Change
Movement
Crisis
Concern

You know, the usual! ha

We are fine

Those of you who come here, know me.
You know I won't land the gory details here.
But, you also know how to reach me.
So, there's that.

We are fine

As far as this morning's quake, 
we are fine.
I thought I should tell you since it is even being covered on National News.
Happy 4th of July!
Boom!

We are fine

The quake, downgraded to 6.4 had an epicenter in Ridgecrest, CA
which is about 98 miles from me, as the crow flies.
(ASIDE: There are so many crows that live near the new place!)

We felt it!  Strong, but a rocking and rolling kind of motion.
So soft kind of.
The vertical blinds swung, a lot.
Nothing fell, cracked, or moved.

We are fine

However, being in a downstairs unit, with two floors above me,
did give me a pause during the quake.
Where is the safest inside spot?
(Probably not nearby the ceiling fan where I sat! haha)
What about getting out?
And I should not forget keys, so I can get back in!
hahahahaha

This place has lots of keys!

We are fine

As you can probably tell, earthquakes don't worry me too much.
I do like this one was way out and away from us.
Being in a downstairs unit is new for me, so thoughts to process.
However, this place is older than our big 1994 earthquake and still standing.
I think we're fine.

We are fine



As far as being the turtle...
while looking for a recent unused photo for this post,
I saw this one.
If I've posted this in the past, sorry.
A forgetful mind makes life interesting or repetitive and boring.
Oh well.

I bought a book on clearance for my son when he was two. It cost a quarter.
Turtle's Tale (Kindle version)
It very quickly became a favorite, probably for me more than him!
I loved, do love the story line about this turtle moving through his days,
learning when it is best to take cover and when it is okay to take a risk
and how to move in between these two modes of living.
Sometimes you poke your head out,
sometimes you pull it back in.

It is a lesson I learn over and over.
A lesson I try to remember, but don't always.
This book is the reason I have a small collection of turtles ☺

So today, this photo was a serendipitous reminder of that.

We are fine

When you move through your own days,
the days that you are not thriving,
may you be fine.
May you always, always be good enough.
With much love,
xo 

Photographs by NAE ©2019