Sunday, February 26, 2017

Birds of Feather and a Sinkhole

 Saw this guy driving home a couple of weeks ago.  Just there sitting on the parking lot wall of the church down the road.  Sitting there looking huge!  I made a quick u-turn and went back for some zoomed in pictures.


 Holiday card form The Boy's in-laws.
Another great looking bird!
They are in need of a lot of extra light and love right about now.
Sending that across the states. ↣

So majestic. 

Calling out my presence?

Eating grass

More calling.
I couldn't get enough.
Sat for a long while, just looking.

We've had so much rain the last weeks.
It is needed and beautiful and makes for one heck of a commute.

A couple of Friday's ago...the day we got really drenched...
surface streets flooded, a lot.  Freeways flooded, a lot.
The 5 (on my way home, if I choose to take it) was completely closed, 
under 5 feet of water, at rush hour.
It has been a lot.  Period.
Work babies have been inside for days at a time.

The sun does break through, dry things up a bit.
The 'lake' in the back 40 gets bigger and then smaller again, depending on the day.
And one of the neighbor's 'new' trees cracked and fell, others were pruned hard for safety.

Remember years back when all of my trees were removed?
I ranted and raved and was so sad. 
I don't bother with that anymore.
Things come and go.
There seems to be much bigger worries these days 
than the trees in the back forty.
Not that I don't miss and mourn them, I still do.
Just quieter, I guess. 

Neighbor's crap and the dwindling 'lake'.

On the days when the sun pushes through...
everything is so bright green it almost hurts your eyes!
Every mound, hill, nook and all of the crannies are 
bursting with blades of brilliant green grasses. 
It is like the old song...
"Spring is busting out all over..."!
The house above belonged to my EX's grandparents.
It still stills alone on the same hill, 
lived in by some other family member I believe. 
I drive by it every work day.

Idea Drawer
In my son's old desk, I had an idea drawer, 
where I'd drop scraps of paper scribbled with art ideas.
Ideas never started.
Yet. a creative immersion that saved me during some tough years.
I decided it was time to get rid of this paper pile.
First thought: Toss it all, un-looked at (probably shoulda done that!)
Next thought: Burn them in some sort of 'letting go' ceremony.
Another thought: Give them a quick once over, then toss (started that)
The thing is, I still remember and like some of these ideas.
Maybe I will do this one or that one!  (NOT)
There was a bunch of other writings that I didn't even remember being in there.
I guess I'm glad those weren't tossed.  Maybe.
I did get rid of a small amount.
Now what?
→ Toss rest anyway?
→ Add to the Shoe Project? 
→ Type into a Word Doc? Or photograph ones I like?
→ Make into 'new' paper? ~ Idea came from something Velma said, 
really know I won't get to that.
→ Keep wishing my scribbles, ideas, words and drawings 
were as talented and inspiring as those of others?  
How fruitless is that?  Ridiculous! 

I just keep going in circles and now realize 
that I now have a paper pile out in the open, bothering me...
instead of tucked into a drawer, out of sight, 
but at the back of my mind! 
De-cluttering is complicated.

So, instead I pull out another cloth to fool around with on my lunch break.
Something else to start and maybe finish?
I've thought recently that maybe I should give up the idea of finishing.
This one is a rusty sun and moon to me.
Fold-flap of the cloth diaper now sewn down. 

It is raining again today.
On and Off.
That's the roads some time in between to dry up.
I'm thinking in between is an OK place to be.
Learned of the reason for a standing X shovel barricade out front. 
Turns out, we have a small sinkhole of our own.
It tried to eat my neighbors car.  Her car is out now. 

It is pretty deep, deeper of to the right.
I tried to get the best estimate I could without falling in!
Hard to believe her car was stuck in this!

Makes me wonder what will happen with more rain?
Whose responsibility is it to fix this?
Does it matter that there is a utility box in the ground right near this?
Trying not to let this give me "the ground could fall away from you at any minute" feeling!
Or the "Where will the next 'sinkhole' be in 2017" feeling? 
Oh well, what can one do?
Here's to enjoying and appreciating the moment,
getting rid of the old, 
and walking lightly into the future.
Love to all,
Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2017


Ms. said...

I've spent time with that too - reducing paper piles and scraps. Same thing, more ordered but still scraps in a new container (ha) - then photographs - and post cards and picture cards. But really...just pushing piles around from disorder to order. I do discover some gems though. It's kind of like living off the past in the present. Sometimes they're good for a blog post, or contacting an old friend long neglected. I wrote a poem for a friend about our stuff once when we worried over similar things:
(For Her & For Me)
by Michelle Slater


boxed and stored away;

no one to pass them to, you say,

Like me,

left holding just the artifacts

for proof.

Oh, sweet my friend,

when we, ah, when we are gone away,

gone for good and all,

no thing

save life itself lives on.

It will not need our stuff.

No 'thing' can matter when matter dissipates.

'Twas that

plain fact,

not cruel, not kind*

which in reverse brought each of us

into being, one at a time.

We two

as we are now,

will sometime no more be.

Perhaps a fragrance lingers

for those

whose hearts we touched.

A chance breeze

carries an impression

made of an impulse

now forgotten

that moves a leaf

to let a ray of sunlight in.

Did I tell you

I dream of the precise blue shade

that was my fathers eye,

hear my mothers voice when I sing.


I dream and sing.

Mary Oliver must have credit for the concept which she used as

"..neither cruel nor kind" in reference to 'nature')

Your sink hole is worrisome but no sense worrying, and the lost trees rouse my empathy yet what you say is true. Everything comes and goes. The contrasts are gorgeous.
The birds are beautiful and so too the rust marked cloths. But best of all your spirit shines on through it all.

Nancy said...

Michelle~ Thank you so for sharing here and reminding me there are kindred spirits out there. Here's to just going...some more...together.

yvette said...

sinkholes make me think
they are mysteries for me


grace Forrest~Maestas said...

"just keep going in circles and now realize that i now have a paper pile
out in the open, bothering me instead of tucked in a drawer out of sight.


THIS just so much made me smile....there's gotta be a way out, right?
sometimes it's paper, sometimes it's thoughts....

the Raven is such a gift....Love to you.....

Nancy said...

Yvette~ I agree 'mysteries'. This one gets deeper off to one side, pulling you in. A big one in the Valley near here, during the Big Rains, swallowed two cars!!

Grace~ Oh yes. It is so much Thoughts sometimes!! At least with paper, once is gone! I knew you'd like this Raven, it was so big, so mighty.

Anonymous said...

wow, rain, ravens, sinkholes and an idea file. Regarding the business of paper -- it is the hardest clutter to deal with, I think. Part of me wants to suggest you take it to kinko, ask them to copy on uniform sheets of paper and bind. Voila! Now it's a book of ideas. BUT! if the book (or the pile or even the stuffed and closed drawer) has the oppressive energy of a TO DO list that you will NEVER do, get rid of it. All of it. Too bad you can't shove down that sink hole and watch it all disappear!

Nancy said...

Dee~ I laughed so hard at your disposal idea! I talked to my neighbor and it turns out that sinkhole may be 20 feet deep!!! So, I guess I can put some of your paper trail down there too! haha

Mo Crow said...

what a beautiful raven, 2017 is a wild ride!

Nancy said...

Mo~ Yes s/he is magnificent! As for a wild ride, I had a feeling it would be, but would rather have calm.

Velma Bolyard said...

tootled over and so understand your thoughts. what i did with the stack of old paper relating to my ex that was in a trunk? fire. a lovely letting go, bit by bit, one morning in front of my fireplace. i've never felt bad about it. it was all my stuff about a me that's now changed. no one else, ever needed to read that.

Nancy said...

Hey Velma! I totally agree...I've shredded so much of my past 'feelings' and whatnot. You are right, no one needs to read that and I like feeling lighter and rid of it! PS If I had a fireplace, I'd choose that way over the violence of the shredder (but sometimes that is a fitting end too) and I have used my kettle shaped BBQ!! lol

jude said...

once i burned a pile like that. But as i did I went slowly through it, letting what was there sink in. rethinking each scribble. I figured that what ever was valuable would stay in my head and come out in someway, someday, as something useful. I made a note to myself... each new thought is as good as any that came before.

love those rain photos.

Nancy said...

Hey Jude~ Thanks. And yes, that is what I was hoping...that something would stick. Or not. I guess it doesn't really matter either way. Ha. After so many years, the rain has been wonderful!

Hazel said...

From that grand bird to the grave hole in the ground… what a Full post! I understand the clutter, often, in an attempt to get rid, I make things much worse for a while, sometimes semi-permanently. sighs.

Nancy said...

Hazel~ Oh things are most definitely worse! Still. lol