Pages

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Two Holes

Today feels like this:


Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2013

There are two holes in my heart.
Two of my elder ladies passed on.
One Friday night.
One this evening.

I've known them both since I was a young adult.
I've known them both forever.

I want to say the words that would speak of the heaviness in my heart 
and the many memories I hold close.
But, eloquence won't come.
There's too much.

So, instead, I give you this:

 

“Perfection Wasted” by John Updike

And another regrettable thing about death

is the ceasing of your own brand of magic,

which took a whole life to develop and market –

the quips, the witticisms, the slant

adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest

to the lip of the stage, their soft faces blanched

in the footlight glow, their laughter close to tears,

their tears confused with their diamond earrings,

their warm pooled breath in and out with your heartbeat,

their response and your performance twinned.

The jokes over the phone.  The memories packed

in the rapid-access file.  The whole act.

Who will do it again?  That’s it; no one;

imitators and descendants aren’t the same.


17 comments:

Marti said...

My sympathy Nancy. Losing loved ones, old dear ones, leaves such a hole in our hearts so your image conveys all that need be said.

Ms. said...

Oh my dear...the hard part of loving is the hardest part, when we are left without the presence. The heart heals
a million times, Meanwhile, much love

deanna7trees said...

sending a hug. loss is hard. wonderful that we have the memories.

Penny Berens said...

Thinking of you and hoping the holes fill with wonderful memories to smile at.

saskia said...

Oh Nancy, my thoughts and heart are with you, love Sasx

handstories said...

oh, Nancy, I'm so sorry. sending you thoughts & wishes for comfort.

Lynda Merry said...

Nancy, what a tough weekend. I'm so sorry for your loss of not one, but two special people. May all the good memories carry you through.
xo
Lynda

Nancy said...

Thank you everyone for your caring comments. It was a heavy weekend...and still feels as such as I head out to a work week. I am thinking of these ladies. I am thinking warm thoughts for Jude and her mom and her family. *sigh*

Tammy said...

Came over today to see what's new and found your sadness. And I see I will have to check out some more blogs. My mother has been suffering alzheimers for the past year .. and it's so hard to be gone before your gone. Take care .. (((((Nancy))))) ..my virtual hug.

Nancy said...

Tammy~ I'm so sorry you've been going through that with your mom. It must be very hard. A friend of mine is walking that trail as well.
(((Hugs))) to you too.

deemallon said...

so sorry, Nancy... the Updike poem is so very moving -- every one is absolutely irreplaceable, aren't they?!

Nancy said...

Thank you Dee. The poem came round about from my mom. Unknown to my family, she had shared it with a friend who had lost a loved one and then that friend shared it back with us. She showed us the letter my mom had written, in which she stated about this poem: "I just fell in love with it". And so did I. So much so, that I read it at my mom's funeral. Thanks for stopping by.

the wild magnolia said...

awesome!

Morna Crites-Moore * Wicked Waif said...

I am sad for you and for us all. Life is sweet, death is difficult. xo

Nancy said...

Wild MAgnolia~ Hi nice to see you here at pomegranate trail! I'm not sure which part you thought was 'awesome'...but I'm so glad you enjoyed! Thank you for your comment.

Morna~ Yes, and life travels on. Thank you for coming by.

Anonymous said...

Nancy,

Sadly, it has been a year of loss for many of my friends. We are still raw and heartbroken over the loss of Joe's beautiful, gentle father. Life has changed in many ways for and we are struggling to adjust. I am so sorry for your loss, my heart has been with you and Cam.

Think I was feeling this poem this morning, wonder if it was calling me to come visit your page...?
~Jacque

Nancy said...

Hey Jacque~ It's so nice to see you here!
I read this at my mom's funeral. It has meant a lot to me. It takes so long to embrace a passing, yes? I will still be thinking of you and your family.
We are of that age now, when the elders are leaving and we are becoming.
Take care.