The days have been a blur...sleep, eat, work, eat, shower...
and trying to keep contact in the online community.
I'm afraid I've not done a very good job of that.
So, for that I apologize.
And for the fact that all my recent posts feel like they must be boring readers like crazy.
Seems Like I am in that cycle of overwhelm right now.
Maybe these recent post are more for me keeping track of days.
There have been passings and illness and general strife between others in my world.
It's taxing, to put it mildly.
I have nothing enlightening or profound to say about any of this.
It just is and I'll just roll with it until it is no longer this, but instead something else.
Today I visited with an elderly aunt.
She is quite ill.
Really she has begun her journey of ending.
We both held inside our words that would capture the very big and very deep feelings that we may not see each other again.
But, we held hands and when it was time for me to leave, we hugged good.
And we knew why.
We talked about family and current daily happenings and those who have already passed on.
We talked about one left behind and her deep sense of loss.
I shared photos of loved ones she hadn't seen in many years and places she'd never visited.
Places she would never see and loved ones she may not see again.
I sat and waited quietly while she left her lunch in the bathroom.
She did not want to speak of her own illness and lack of treatment options.
No specifics were mentioned.
They didn't need to be.
I'm left holding so many of those feelings in a heavy heart.
I've not yet had this experience of knowing I may not see a loved one again, as I have to return to the obligations of my day to day life.
So, to think of her, alone in her apartment, not feeling well,
as I commute and work and eat and compute and sleep and stitch and write and
talk or visit with other friends & family members...
well, it's weird.
Here is an old photo, from March 1981.
(I feel awkward sharing today's picture)
The baby is my, now grown, son.
I'm the child-looking mom with my in-laws, grandmother and this special aunt.
She said, "I remember that skirt. I loved it and wore it for years".
So, isn't that really the truth of what it comes down to?
Some memories, some love...and some time spent together.
Photo by Nancy A. Erisman ©1981/2013