I have never thought of myself of someone who could draw. But the other day as I sat between meetings, in a long afternoon of stressful meetings...after some very stressful days...days of definite thrashing...Well, the other day I picked up my pen and began to doodle on my trusty steno pad. I was not even thinking about what I was doing, I was just moving the pen. I made the two shapes that looked quite a bit like wings. Then I added a head like shape. Mmmm... I thought and added a body with some tail feathers. I placed an eye and a feather floating off and next a spiral down below. I sat and looked at this little drawing and reflected on the conversations recently about personal symbol. I thought wow these are all things important to me. What else is a 'standard' for me? What other images pull me in, hold personal meaning? So, I added the little leaf. I looked again and moved the pen towards the paper. And then I felt it...the magic spark go out. I couldn't think of a thing to add. I knew it wouldn't come out right if I tried. Because I was ...trying. I stopped and sat there waiting for the person to return and the meeting to continue.
I sat staring at this little treasure and felt such a connection to it. I felt such pleasure from not only ending up with a drawing that I liked, but from the process of drawing it. The flow, without even trying; things moved from my heart, down my arm and out of my pen...landing softly on the paper for me to see. It was something else! It was something I have always wanted to feel. I hope to experience this again one day soon. Ahhh...
|Here is a little perspective on it's size|
I have looked at this drawing several times and thought that maybe it came to me so easily so I could manifest it someway in stitch and fabric. Maybe it would find its way into diaries or on the little heart sampler. Yes I am still working on it! I am finding that I am a very slow hand stitcher (Jude you make it look so easy!) and I easily loose focus these days. I have had so little time, until recently, that I could use for more than zoning out with my computer. I am hoping that will soon change. I have however sewn the bear down...wrapped him in a blanket stitch to keep him warm! :)
Most recently I have been wrap stitching my 'broken heart'. Take a look...
While I wish I could finish more work, I am really enjoying the slow cloth community I have joined, the recent mental and spiritual stimulation and friendship I have encountered there is breathtaking. While I wish for fabrics to hand dye or a wider variety of cloth (I've enough quilter's cotton to last 3 lifetimes!)... I will work with what I have in my own style and my own evolution. If I ever come to a place of completion with this little heart sampler,
it will stay deep within my own heart for a very very long time to come.
And if it becomes a life project like my Shoe Project... that will be OK too.
Whatever happens next...I am ready to soar!
Photos by NAE @pomegranatetrail ©2011